This question couldn’t come at a better time with Father’s Day coming up this Sunday and all, but it’s definitely a question that I have to choose my words well with nevertheless. Hmm, Dad? …I definitely had one (as we ALL do), but he passed away when I was 12. There was another “father figure” in my life who came along afterward, but I won’t even mention him as it’ll open up a whole new can of worms I’m just not trying to revisit right now. I guess I’m what you’d call- a product of the dreaded Urban statistic. You know what I’m talking about? Recording artist, Teairra Mari, said in well in one of her hit songs chanting, “I ain’t had no Daddy around when I was growin’ up…” I have very few and faded memories of my father because he wasn’t always there, but I don’t hate him for it. At the time, I guess it was the thing to do- have kids then abandon them and the woman who gave birth to the offspring too. You can’t really miss something or someone (in this case) you can’t really remember. But I thank and respect my mother for being both Mom & Dad- especially raising me (a male, at that!) in an Urban community filled with temptation. As I grow older, I can honestly say that I thank my father for not being there as he has actually taught me something in his absence: When the time comes for me to have my own kids, I will do EVERYTHING in my power to be the BEST FATHER mine just wasn’t. …And who says good doesn’t come out of a bad situation? Don’t believe the hype!
June 25. 2009 at 02:56
Having read what you had to say in regard to your dad not being there, you say good can come out of a bad situation and that you will be the best father, at least for you it probably made you stronger, but so many of our children out there has not taken it that lightly. Some of our children has gotten in trouble and are in jail because they did not have a father figure in their life to guide them. I am tired of mothers taking the role of Mom & Dad because of fathers who refuse to stand up to their responsibilities. Don’t get me wrong because there are good fathers out there. I also realize too that as mothers we must spend more time to give special training to our boys as they grow to teach them what family values are about. Men are supposed to be the head of an household.